Category Archives: Uncategorized

“Sabbath Sunday”

Standard

*sigh*

Well, I must say that I am feeling like the Israelites in Exodus 16:3. “We wish the Lord had killed us in Egypt. When we lived there, we could at least sit down and eat all the bread and meat we wanted. But you have brought us out here into this desert, where we are going to starve.” While my reality is not that I am actually “starving” from food, but I feel like I’m in a place of “starvation”…

Today, I reflect on the feeling of “why couldn’t He just ‘leave me alone’.” While my head knows that Jesus is the best way, the right way, and the ONLY WAY, I can’t help but notice those in “the world;” those around me that are happy and “happening to life” while life is just happening to me; out of control.

I pause and am filled with emotion; chaotic, confusing emotion of “my life was good,” “I had a boyfriend,” “I had cool friends full of girl’s nights and dancing,” “I had a personality,” “I was unashamed, well rounded, and balanced.” So I thought…

Then God…

I talked to my mom the other day to express to her that I feel as though I’ve been in a place of transition for the last few years, but even more intensely over the last year. I made that statement as if to pose the question “when will it stop.” It being this constant place of transition and change… The thought of never having “what I want” absolutely terrifies me… So much so that my flesh (my spirit knows and understands why) wants to know why God didn’t leave me in Egypt.

Peace & Love~
Originally Written July 2010

Advertisements

Because I’m Worth It

Standard

AWESOME! AWESOME! AWESOME!

I can’t believe after all these years of being around the church and raised in the church, that the magnitude of this story NEVER sank in until now!!! There are a few things that stand out;

Daniel 3:16, when they replied to the king “we don’t need to defend ourselves…The God we worship can save us” let’s me know that I don’t have to be ashamed, I don’t have to argue about religion, AND I don’t have to defend who I used to be and who I am now!

God then takes the situation and makes their foe praise Him in v 28-29 with “PRAISE THEIR GOD FOR SENDING AN ANGEL TO RESCUE THEM…NO OTHER GOD HAS SUCH POWER TO SAVE.” For me, the song “Mighty to Save” comes to mind…. MY GOD IS MIGHTY TO SAVE.. HE IS MIGHTY TO SAVE! This is such a great reminder!!!! Not just physically & literally like this stroy, but even figuratively through saving us from ourselves in our daily lives.

I don’t yet have a unique way of showing someone else their worth because I haven’t fully grasped my worth in God’s eyes, but along the way and how far God has brought me since the beginning of this year… I’d tell them WHOLE HEARTED with all sincerity…Seek God to reveal your worth and have faith the He will do it because HE DOES give us the desires of our hearts if we continually seek Him. AND those “desires” are NOT always material…He will do the same for us emotionally, mentally, and relationally as well. For our God is NOT a God that He should lie!!!

AMEN!

“Them Apples/Throw It Off”

Standard

What are your weaknesses?
Well, I can already tell you that my “weakness” is relationships. Not just boyfriend/girlfriend, but I am a very relational person and LOVE to be surrounded by friends and family. IDK if it’s because I don’t want to be left alone or what. Normally when I’m tempted to do something out of His will or disobey Him, the root of it is always a relationship with a man. I have often found myself “settling” or “sacrificing” those things that are important to me (the spiritual things that are a MUST for me) in order to “be in love.”

What are some things you need to throw off?
Just recently, about 6 months ago, I had a “Throw It Off” moment. Well, it was only one part of Throwing it Off. I decided NO MORE SETTLING TO HAVE RELATIONSHIPS. ESPECIALLY NOT IN MY SPIRITUAL LIFE! Then I later attempted cutting someone off in order to pass a test that’s been given to me probably several times by the Big Man upstairs :)…IDK how that went yet… ūüôā

One thing I threw off and I was actually semi-successful with was pressing through my attitude (pressing through all pouting, all my negative thoughts, & all the “why not me’s”) and continue to praise & worship God. I have a bad, bad habit of pouting when I feel like I’m ready, but He doesn’t feel like I’m ready; I take it personal and I pout. Since learning to press through those things, He’s taken me to a totally different level in Him and in ministry!!!

Originally written May 2010

Eryn~

Untitled~

Standard

In a place feeling alone although I’m surrounded by people. People. Friends. Family. All going on about their lives as I constantly feel like I’m reaching out, but for what?! For validity? For love? To fill a void that I’m not really sure needs to be filled?

Always seeking, always reaching, always looking… FOR. WHAT?

Later looking and only finding resentment, jealousy, & envy of those who surround me.

Wondering… Am I designed to be alone; to stand alone?…But yet I recant… This is not how we were created. This is not why we were created.

But I suppose to make statements as such I should pose the question “why were we created?”

What’s my purpose? The more I ask myself that question the more lost I feel. Often dreading that I’m still in this place; a place lacking purpose. Seeking my purpose through those that surround me. Hoping they see in me what I long so badly to see in me.

What do I see?…

Peace~

HIATUS

Standard

Well, you may have noticed that I have not blogged in a little over a month. I am in the process of creating/designing a “new” blog page for LIFESTYLE CHANGES regarding food!!! Keep a look out!!! (E.A.T.)

I will be back to blogging in no time!!! Besides, I always have a lot to say!! ūüôā

You never know… I may blog today…

Peace~

What’s my Name?!

Standard

Ok! So, this is a bit of a rant!

My name is spelled E-R-Y-N. And while my name is pronounced “Aaron”/”Erin”, it is NOT spelled either way! My name is spelled E-R-Y-N.

I normally do not feel annoyed when someone mispells my name & have often looked at others and thought “what’s the big deal?” “So, what they misspelled your name.” *sigh*

Now, I do NOT mean to be totally hypocrite, but I am officially annoyed! Allow me to explain myself;

If a person does NOT have reference (business card, email) to spell my name correctly, that is not an offense, but when I personally send an e-mail and or Facebook message, with my picture and um, duh, the CORRECT spelling of my name, why do you¬†insist on spelling my name any other way except for the correct way?! This is not some spelling that I made up or changed the “I” to a “Y” to be different… THIS IS MY NAME!

E-R-Y-N

………..E-R-Y-N

………………………E-R-Y-N!

I really don’t want to go over this again!

When you send me a message and the spelling of your name is made available to me, I WILL spell your name correctly! Do the same in return people!!! ESPECIALLY, since it’s been given to you!!! LMBO!!!

Eryn! NOT Erin or Aaron or Arin or Arien or Arryn! It’s ERYN!

Pease…Oops I mean…

Peace~

Good Good?

Standard

“If you got that good good¬†and you know it, ladies show him where’s it at(right here) Where it’s at (right here)See, I don’t know what them other girls be doin, they be cryin’ bout they man Cause they always losin’ They need that (good good) gotta have that (good good) to keep him (good good)You need that (good good)” Ashanti~

The above quote was in a “friend’s” status¬†on facebook & it got me to thinking. Is this what our girls, young women, & women believe? Is this what “we’re” pumping into impressionable minds?! Well, of course it is!!! After all, if you don’t open your legs, wine & dine him then he’ll find someone else.

I once dated a guy who told me that “I didn’t want to do what it takes to ‘please’ my ‘significant other.'” By this he was indicating that I wasn’t physical enough to have a boyfriend.

On another occasion I had two women in my peer group say to me “you can’t withhold sex & expect him not to cheat on you.”

Now, for those of us who are romantics, this is “devastating” news. You mean to say that sex is the only means by which one can “find love?”

Sex does not love make… Sex does not a relationship make and lastly…Sex does not a marriage make…

“If you got that good good and you know it, ladies show him where’s it at(right here) Where it’s at (right here)See, I don’t know what them other girls be doin, they be cryin’ bout they man Cause they always losin’ They need that (good good) gotta have that (good good) to keep him (good good)You need that (good good)” Ashanti~

Instead of teaching our girls that they are fearfully and wonderfully made and that a man who¬†FINDS a WIFE, has found a good thing, we teach them¬†that the way to their¬†hearts and any man’s heart is in between her legs.¬†Sex leads to the heart alright;¬†right into soul-ties and a UNgaurded/UNprotected heart. Not to mention that being promiscuous leads to “3 Million cases of sexually transmitted diseases/ year and 1 Million pregnancies/ year.” And¬†what’s even more disheartening is that this statistic is solely dealing with teenagers…

“Among teens each year there are about 3 million cases of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and approximately 1 million pregnancies. Human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) infection is the sixth leading cause of death among persons aged 15-24 years in the United States.
(Source, Centers for Disease Control, Atlanta, GA)”

So now what’s “good, good”?

Peace & Love~

This Just In…

Standard

…Almost a week ago, for the first time in 27 years, I SHAVED MY LEGS!!

Some of you may be thinking “what in the heck,” but you heard me right! For the first time in my entire life, I shaved my legs!

Growing up the women in my family have always tried to deter me from doing such a thing. I believe this was primarily because of the upkeep; to¬†protect me of¬†those pesky pricklies¬†(yes I typed “pricklies”)… And well….¬†because they never shaved their legs!

Now, because I had a true reverence and fear of my parents, I obeyed their wishes and actually began to take pride in the fact that I had NEVER shaved my legs.

In my eyes, I was fortunate because the hair on my legs was “minimal,” but one day…………

I noticed that after many, many years, my mother, the woman I emulate, had done the unspeakable; she had shaved her legs!!!!!!!!!

Now, to some, you may think “well, of course she did.” I held off for a while longer, but it seemed as though every time I looked down at my legs, there was more hair!

So, on Thursday, July 29, 2010 I decided it was time!!!

After shaving the first leg, I looked at the other leg in disgust as I thought “you look so dirty.” LOL

I believe it’s the best thing since exfoliation…Can’t believe I didn’t do it sooner…

Happy Shaving…

Peace & Love~

Overcome or Overwhelmed?

Standard

 

 

Overcome by the blood, but overwhelmed by life. Overcome by our testimony, but overwhelmed by judgement. Overcome by the price that He paid on the cross, but overwhelmed by condemnation.

Are we overcome or just overwhelmed?

We are overcome by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony. To overcome means “to get the better of” and to testify means to make a statement on personal knowledge or belief; bear witness; to serve as evidence of proof. The most personal definition is to express or make known¬†a personal conviction.

Are we overcome or just overwhelmed?

I generally tend to pride myself on being transparent, but as I get older I realize that being “transparent” isn’t always to the good; Others can’t always handle the truth of me; the free spirit of me. Often times I find myself very frustrated, wanting to block off expressing myself, my wants, my desires for fear of other’s opinions, judgements, or thoughts on how¬†my life should be lived.

Am I overcome or just overwhelmed by my thoughts and feelings?

As long as one is living life according to Christ and doing their best to ensure that everything in their life brings God glory, who am I to pass judgement or give my two cent otherwise? Friends are to be support; a shoulder to lean on and someone to help stand in difficult times.

Are we overcome or simply over-guided?

I have found today, that I often misuse this scripture and mistake it for saying “we overcome by telling other’s our business.” As if to say, “I’m helping others by sharing of myself.” Now, I know to some extent this is true, but in reading another translation, it states that we overcome by the message of God (Revelation 12:11 CEV.) Does this imply that I do¬†not necessarily need to share of my personal life in order to “help” others overcome?¬†

Overcome by the blood, but overwhelmed by life? Overcome by our testimony, but overwhelmed by judgement? Overcome by the price that He paid on the cross, but overwhelmed by condemnation?

We are overcome. Overcome by the blood of the Lamb and overcome by the bold word of our witness (The Message translation).

THE BOLD WORD OF OUR WITNESS!!!

The message of God.

Peace & Love~

“Chew the Straw & Spit Out the Sticks”

Standard

Huh?!

I thought this was so well said when spoken by former American Idol contestant, Melinda Doolittle on TBN in an interview with Jason Crabb.

In listening to her speak on American Idol, life, and her new book, you can’t help but be captivated by her sweet, genuine spirit & zeal for life!

Often times in life we/I struggle with what’s said to us/me, about us/me or even around us/me. The number of negative remarks that a child hears by the time they reach the age of 18 is astronomical compared to the number of positive, character building statements that¬†are heard by that age!

¬†Melinda Doolittle’s mother says “chew the straw and spit out the sticks.” Chew up those things that are meant to make you stronger and develop character, but spit out those things that are meant to hurt you.

This is a nice reminder; everything that’s said to you/me isn’t meant to be for your/my good. We live in a world that is so full of¬† ‘self’ and ‘self gain.’ “We” will do whatever it takes to satisfy our “needs” and wants¬†& we are even willing to abuse others with our words to a point of total destruction.¬†

While spitting out those sticks may be easier said than done, remember that negativity is designed to keep us down; to keep us from completing a set task or goal.¬†As long as you’re down, you’ll/we’ll/I’ll make it easy for the “undeserving” to rise above and potentially claim what’s yours/ours/mine.

Be encouraged & spit out those sticks!!!

Peace~